Our Earth Hours

The world is celebrating Earth hour today from 8:30 pm till 9:30 pm. All non-essential lights would be turned off and our attentions would be directed towards the need to do something positive and control the climatic changes that our earth is undergoing. We in Pakistan, are also experiencing climate changes; we have awfully prolonged seasons, untimely monsoons and all sorts of unexpected things happening in our climate. Of course all this is part of the global climate change and we’re just experiencing our chunk of it. It is a dire need therefore to celebrate earth hour and highlight the importance of making efforts to bring things under control before it gets too late.

The above paragraph reflects a genuine thought which I had before coming to terms with reality and realizing the fact that I am a Pakistani. I am a citizen of a country where even unconsciously or unintentionally we are serving our planet far better than the rest of the world.

The western world celebrates earth hour on the last Saturday of March every year. We however, celebrate it every day; thrice a day. From the moment we wake up in the morning till the moment we go back to sleep at night, we celebrate earth hours at regular intervals. We celebrate it more and we celebrate it better. We don’t even have our essential lights turned on, leave alone the non-essential ones.

People leave work while celebrating earth hour in their offices and when they reach their homes, earth hour begins there as well. Earth hour in one area is usually succeeded by an earth hour in another area. Sometimes the care increases too much for our planet and we celebrate earth ‘one and a half‘ hour or maybe even 2 earth hours together. This happens mainly because we truly endorse the logo of earth hour and we believe in 60+.

Reduction in power consumption helps save the earth. For us, we aren’t yet sure about the availability of the power which is to be consumed. Earth hour is celebrated to combine individual efforts and see the collective results. In our case, the collective failure of our system results in individuals celebrating earth hour.

Hammad A. Mateen

A spell they couldn’t cast

Misbah-ul-Haq eventually lifted the Asia Cup 2012 last night but not without a sigh of relief. It was a nail-biting encounter and the post-match celebrations all over the country gave proof of the release of tension which the whole of Pakistan had experienced. Many were jubilant over Pakistan winning the Asia cup for the 2^nd time, many just joining the party for no obvious reasons and some like me wondering what all these people are so excited about; We beat Bangladesh, and for the 29^th time in 30 games.

What I did realize though was that this was not the same Bangladesh we were used to beating up every time. This side had tasted victory and that too over difficult opponents. They didn’t go out onto the field without a plan anymore. They had method to their game and a little flare to go with it. They gave Pakistan a tough time and made sure the match was evenly poised till the very last delivery.

They were all tears which told the world how much it meant for this side to come so close to glory and yet remain so far. I was touched, and so were a few more of my friends who promptly texted me inquiring if we really did deserve to win. Deep down somewhere, we do enjoy an underdog beat the heck out of top sides in the world. Also deep down somewhere, we didn’t like the way Misbah was martialling the troops. We don’t like tears anyway, at least if Bangladesh would’ve won, we wouldn’t have seen the Pakistan team crying.

On the other hand, what we would’ve seen shouldn’t also be discounted so early. Remember the 1999 world cup? Oh we remember all right! The arrogance and the conceit displayed by the Bangladesh side and specially their Prime Minister with her remarks regarding the 1971 war. I spotted her last night on television also sitting and watching the match in the stadium but she wasn’t to be seen anywhere after the last ball was bowled.

I was just reading today in the newspaper about Mushfiq-ur-Raheem claiming prior to the match that this would just be a formality to be completed, Bangladesh will win for sure. If the news is true, no wonder he was crying; anyone in his shoes would’ve done that after being reminded about the old saying: “Pride hath a fall.”

As a neutral, it is definitely heartening to see a side finally come of age 12 years after attaining the test status (which by the way is still questionable). They played outstanding cricket and announced their presence in great style. What will be interesting though would be to see if they can be consistent with their performance and prove themselves in different conditions and against different oppositions.

As far as Pakistan and Tuc Tuc are concerned, well… never mind!

Hammad A. Mateen

Not another Tendulkar please …

India’s great victory over Pakistan in an epic run chase of 330 was not very pleasing to the eye as a Pakistani but as a cricket fan it was surely something worth watching.

I’m a little fed up listening to the experts and commentators praising Umar Akmal and calling him ‘The future of Pakistan.’ Rameez Raja once got a bit too emotional and compared him with Inzamam-ul-Haq which I’m not sure would’ve gone down well with Big Inzi bhai.

A glimpse of the future however was to be seen for the Indian team when Rohit Sharma and Virat Kohli were on the crease. I was forced to compare the maturity and talent of Kohli with our very own Umar ‘Super’ Akmal and the difference was quite noticeable.

Kohli was fluent, flamboyant, stylish, technical and very effective at the same time. He’s the type of player who leaves an impact on the game and that’s what he did that night against Pakistan in the Asia Cup tie.

Akmal however, apparently is in a state of mind of where he sees every innings as an opportunity to please the crowds with extravagant stroke-play with illogical shot selection.

There is a huge difference between Kohli and Akmal when it comes to translating the talent into something of substance.

I’ve always loved the way Sachin Tendulkar bats but the only point of concern which I share with the 95% cricket loving population of the world is that he’s not a match-winner, not a finisher.

Kohli, on the other hand, is proving to be a match-winner and knows how to finish the game for his side. What I fear about this young chap though is that his record for the past two tournaments has been that he’s done all the hard work for his side for winning the most crucial games but for reasons unknown, the Indian side gets knocked out of the tournament.

His brilliant knock at Brisbane versus Sri Lanka in the recently concluded CB Series made sure that India chased down a 300+ total but eventually India could not make it to the finals.

A similar situation was observed when Kohli blasted the Pakistani bowling attack with a scorching innings with the bat only to see India on their way back home after they could not reach the final of the Asia Cup 2012.

Honestly, India and Bangladesh deserved to be in the final as both these sides had beaten seasoned opponents and with great class.

Coming back to Virat Kohli, his record as far as winning matches for his side outclasses that of Sachin (at least in terms of people’s perceptions), however in his case, his centuries are becoming a bad omen not for a single match but for the whole tournament.

This is just the beginning; I just hope that we are not looking at another Tendulkar from India.

Hammad A. Mateen

Recipe: Pakistani Awami Biryani

To make a delicious Pakistani Awami Biryani, you need to :

1. Take some yogurt of insecurity and beat it well.
2. Marinate the awami chicken with the yogurt of insecurity, garlic paste of high fuel prices, ginger paste of electricity load shedding, unemployment turmeric powder, bus fares coriander powder, chilli powder of illiteracy, shortage of gas cumin powder and of course social difference salt. Let it marinate for some time.
3. Take some target killing onions and chop them very thin. Deep fry them in law and order oil mixed with ¼ cup of clarified sectarian violence butter until crispy.
4. Now its time to take some tension rice. Clean and wash them and then drain carefully and set aside.
5. Clean and chop the mint and coriander leaves of Pakistan steel mills. In the same oil, fry the chopped Railway cashew nuts and PIA raisins until golden brown, drain and set aside. Slit green chillies of cell phone addiction, and mix into the marinated awami chicken.
6. Put the awami chicken and marinade into a political pot in which the target killing onions were fried earlier.
7. Time to add a little water from any unreliable source, cover and cook until the awami chicken is half done.
8. Remove the Awami chicken pieces with a spoon of Police & Rangers and measure the stock. Add more water until diseases are inflicted.
9. Put the tension rice into a rice cooker, add the whole spices of drones, arrange the awami chicken pieces on top, sprinkle three-quarters of the fried target killing onions and all the chopped PIA, Railways and other leaves.
10. Pour in the measured stock into which the garam masala of intolerance has been added.
11. Pour the remaining quarter cup of clarified sectarian violence butter over the whole mixture. Cover and cook until well done.
12. Take some eggs of facebook and chatting and hard-boil them.
13. Soak the saffron of distance from religion in the milk of fleeing the country.
14. When the biryani is done, open the rice cooker, and sprinkle the saffron-soaked milk on top. Mix carefully and cover and leave on very low heat for a few minutes.
15. Just before serving, mix in the juice of half a lemon of protests and strikes.
16. Arrange on a serving dish and garnish with corruption.

The perfect Pakistani Awami Biryani is ready!

Note: Don’t forget to take proper medication after eating in order to digest.

From the cookbook of Chef Hammad Abdul Mateen

Aamil Devdas

On the way to a friend’s place last night I happened to spot an advertisement chalked on the sides of a flyover. It read, ‘Chatt mangni, patt biyah … Aamil Devdas.’ The first thought that came to my mind was the same as many of yours; if he’s promising a ‘Chatt mangni and patt biyah’, why is he ‘Devdas’ himself? Of course Devdas is a name and not just an emblem of heartbreak but then why would the guy even use this name?

The point is that even today when the world is talking about Steve Jobs and the iPad, we are still stuck in finding solutions to our problems through these spurious Aamil’s. The very next proposal Aamil Devdas had in his promotional campaign is ‘harr pareshani ka hull’ (solution to all problems). Maybe PM Gilani should talk to him about how to keep the opposition quite, or maybe PML (N) might consider consulting him regarding Imran Khan’s increasing popularity. Better than that, Gen. Kiyani should visit his ‘aastana’ and ask him to do something about the US drone attacks in North Waziristan. I have serious doubts that this is the man behind letting the US know where Osama Bin Laden was hiding. He might also know something about the Libyan revolution. I also have a fishy feeling that this is the guy responsible for not making it possible for the Pakistani players to play in the IPL.

We as a nation have wandered off so far away from our religion and beliefs that now we depend upon people like these Aamil’s to solve our problems. I’m pretty darn sure that the clientele of this guy would be a pretty big one and most of them would be Muslims who wouldn’t even consider the fact that this sham individual is not even using a Muslim name for his promotion, meaning that whatever he will be offering would relate to black magic which is totally Haram in Islam.

ALLAH (SWT) loves us all and there is no obstacle for any of us to make a direct connection with our Lord in the form of prayers; but we refrain from that and start depending upon human beings who have no control upon their own lives even. All we need is self-confidence and a rejuvenation of our faith in ALLAH Al-Mighty. We are lesser to none and only hard work along with prayers can solve our problems both individually and collectively. May ALLAH (SWT) guide and bless us all, Aameen.

Hammad A. Mateen

Pappu yaar tang naa ker

Pappu sanu tang na ker tu,

Baray zaroori kam lage aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Roti shoti khaa bethay aan,

Lassi shassi pee bethay aan,

Hukkay da kash laa bethay aan,

Poonjh paanjh k andron bahron,

Paanday bhi kharka bethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Vekh laiyyan ne sub akhbaaran,

Sadday varkay dhul bethay aan,

Saaray akhhar saaray harf suna bethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Kaisay kaisay aslay ban gaey,

Vadday vadday maslay ban gaey,

Vadday sheher vasa bethay aan,

Saara chayn ganwa bethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Rizq, siyasat, ishq, kavitta,

Kujh vi khaalis rehn na ditta,

Saari khed manjha bethay aan,

Dudh vich sirka paa bethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Jee karda si votaan paeyyay,

Marshal Law taun jaan chudaeyyay,

Votan shotan paa bethay aan,

Ae jamhoori raula rappa kinnay saal handa vethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

Sauda koi puchda naa een,

Rasta koi sujhda naa een,

Rastay de vich aa bethay aan,

Sochi payi aan hun ki kariye.

 

-Professor Anwar Masood

 

‘An apt reflection of the thoughtful nature of a nation which is extremely busy doing nothing.’

When the British ruled India

The recent India England series provided a great amount of entertainment (and I’m not talking about the Indian fans.) Despite the fact that the whole tour was dominated by a biased commentary lineup which was either constantly looking for controversies or praising the Indian side for no reason at all, the scene was majorly dominated by some on-field genius of the English.

A clean sweep in the test series including two innings wins made sure that the Indian dominancy in the test rankings came to an end in a rather thrashing manner. Then came the only T20 match of the tour where the English team showed why they are the T20 champs. The ODI series wasn’t something to write home about either for the Indian XI where they failed to register even a single victory. Even the rain went against them at times.

From its start till the end, the tour was taken over by loads of injuries that kept on haunting the Indians continually. Young blood was tried and tested and some of them showed potential as well but could not make an impact on the outcome of any of the games. The veteran Rahul Dravid though showed a lot of fitness and resilience and even in his last ODI game made a good half century finishing his ODI career on a high note. He was surely ‘the wall’ for India which was dented by the Indians themselves by not showing confidence in him over the last 2 years.

It was a tour which was primarily hyped to be dominated by Sachin’s 100^th international century. Graeme Swann promised that Sachin would have to wait six seven months for this feat and the English proved him right. Of course Sachin himself helped the cause by ruling himself out of the tour due to a foot injury half way into the tour.

All that India managed to dig up in the recent English tour was a lot of humiliation and a drop in their rankings both in Tests and ODIs. They are no longer the best test team in the world and they are just a spot above Pakistan in the ODI rankings as well now.

England surely proved to the world that India is not the only side with an exceptional record playing at home.

Hammad A. Mateen

 

a thought..

I wonder if they still call those who migrated from Makkah 1400 years back ‘Muhajir’ in Madinah.

An Overrated Bunch of Players

It wasn’t rocket science for me to understand why India lost so badly at the hands of a magnificent England side in the recent test series. The first thought though which I had took me a year back when a similar looking England side beat the crap out of a young Pakistani side. Even though Pakistan lost the test series and also garnished the shame with spot-fixing allegations, the bright side comes up exactly a year later when while comparing the results we can see that even the naïve Pakistani side managed to sneak a victory against the dominating England side.

India though, is a different side with some different issues. Some of which according to me might can be:

Number 1 Test Team in the world

Inebriated by the test ranking with which they entered the test series is a major factor. Like the world cup, they were hoping for an orchestrated kind of a setting even without which they did not expect to lose so badly that they would lose their top spot in the test rankings.

When the fuss fused

The Indian media which has always been a handy weapon off the field and even on it could not save them this time. They were up against a bigger and more conspiring media set up. Yup! This is the same country where a tabloid ruined 3 three budding careers exactly a year ago.

The Vaseline, DRS system and the Ian Bell incident all went in vain for a biased commentary team consisting of puffed up Indian commentators and an almost Indian Alan Wilkins.

The ‘Ton’dulkar hype

From the moment they put their first step out of the airplane which carried them to the UK, all the Indians could talk about was Sachin Tendulkar’s century of centuries. I critically fail to understand why they insist on combining records of One Day and Test Match Cricket just for sake of showing three figures.  Wonder why they don’t just take a century out of his first class career and make it hundred for heaven’s sake and get it over with. In test matches, over the last one year, SRT has only 3 centuries out of which 2 have been on home soil. In ODIs, he has only 2 centuries in the past 11 matches that he’s played and both of them have been on Indian grounds.

Worn out warhorses

If we look back at the era where India started looking like a consistent test side, we would find that they had started depending upon younger legs. New talent was being given proper and constant exposure which helped them win matches even overseas at times. In England though, they turned back again to the veterans to bring them glory; and look what Laxman, Sehwag and Tendulkar (both V. Sehwag and SRT are part of the all time greatest test side announced recently) brought them. Dravid made lots of runs but most of them only compensated the runs made as a result of the sitters he had dropped while fielding.

In short, an excellent looking England side used their home conditions to absolute perfection to prove to the world the number one test team in the world needs to perform on the field and not in advertising campaigns.

Hammad A. Mateen

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Mata-e-Jaa’n kisi ko saunp ker majboor hojana.

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Mata-e-Jaa’n kisi ko saunp ker majboor hojana.

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

 

Qadam hain raah-e-ulfat mein to manzil ki hawas kaisi,

Qadam hain raah-e-ulfat mein to manzil ki hawas kaisi,

Yahan tou ain manzil hai thakkan se choor hojana,

 

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

 

Yahan tou sirr se pehlay dil ka sauda shart hai yaaro,

Yahan tou sirr se pehlay dil ka sauda shart hai yaaro,

Koi aasaan hai kia sirmad-o-mansoor hojana.

 

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

 

Basa lena kisi ko dil mein dil hi ka kaleja hai,

Basa lena kisi ko dil mein dil hi ka kaleja hai,

Paharon ko tou bus aata hai jal ker toor hojana.

 

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

 

Nazar se door reh ker bhi Taqi wo pass hain meray,

Nazar se door reh ker bhi Taqi wo pass hain meray,

K meri aashiqi ko aib hai mehjoob hojana.

 

Muhabbat kia hai?

Dil ka dard se maamoor hojana,

Muhabbat kia hai?

Muhabbat kia hai?

 

- Mufti Taqi Usmani (D.B.)