The world is celebrating Earth hour today from 8:30 pm till 9:30 pm. All non-essential lights would be turned off and our attentions would be directed towards the need to do something positive and control the climatic changes that our earth is undergoing. We in Pakistan, are also experiencing climate changes; we have awfully prolonged seasons, untimely monsoons and all sorts of unexpected things happening in our climate. Of course all this is part of the global climate change and we’re just experiencing our chunk of it. It is a dire need therefore to celebrate earth hour and highlight the importance of making efforts to bring things under control before it gets too late.
The above paragraph reflects a genuine thought which I had before coming to terms with reality and realizing the fact that I am a Pakistani. I am a citizen of a country where even unconsciously or unintentionally we are serving our planet far better than the rest of the world.
The western world celebrates earth hour on the last Saturday of March every year. We however, celebrate it every day; thrice a day. From the moment we wake up in the morning till the moment we go back to sleep at night, we celebrate earth hours at regular intervals. We celebrate it more and we celebrate it better. We don’t even have our essential lights turned on, leave alone the non-essential ones.
People leave work while celebrating earth hour in their offices and when they reach their homes, earth hour begins there as well. Earth hour in one area is usually succeeded by an earth hour in another area. Sometimes the care increases too much for our planet and we celebrate earth ‘one and a half‘ hour or maybe even 2 earth hours together. This happens mainly because we truly endorse the logo of earth hour and we believe in 60+.
Reduction in power consumption helps save the earth. For us, we aren’t yet sure about the availability of the power which is to be consumed. Earth hour is celebrated to combine individual efforts and see the collective results. In our case, the collective failure of our system results in individuals celebrating earth hour.
Hammad A. Mateen
To make a delicious Pakistani Awami Biryani, you need to :
- Take some yogurt of insecurity and beat it well.
- Marinate the awami chicken with the yogurt of insecurity, garlic paste of high fuel prices, ginger paste of electricity load shedding, unemployment turmeric powder, bus fares coriander powder, chilli powder of illiteracy, shortage of gas cumin powder and of course social difference salt. Let it marinate for some time.
- Take some target killing onions and chop them very thin. Deep fry them in law and order oil mixed with ¼ cup of clarified sectarian violence butter until crispy.
- Now its time to take some tension rice. Clean and wash them and then drain carefully and set aside.
- Clean and chop the mint and coriander leaves of Pakistan steel mills. In the same oil, fry the chopped Railway cashew nuts and PIA raisins until golden brown, drain and set aside. Slit green chillies of cell phone addiction, and mix into the marinated awami chicken.
- Put the awami chicken and marinade into a political pot in which the target killing onions were fried earlier.
- Time to add a little water from any unreliable source, cover and cook until the awami chicken is half done.
- Remove the Awami chicken pieces with a spoon of Police & Rangers and measure the stock. Add more water until diseases are inflicted.
- Put the tension rice into a rice cooker, add the whole spices of drones, arrange the awami chicken pieces on top, sprinkle three-quarters of the fried target killing onions and all the chopped PIA, Railways and other leaves.
- Pour in the measured stock into which the garam masala of intolerance has been added.
- Pour the remaining quarter cup of clarified sectarian violence butter over the whole mixture. Cover and cook until well done.
- Take some eggs of facebook and chatting and hard-boil them.
- Soak the saffron of distance from religion in the milk of fleeing the country.
- When the biryani is done, open the rice cooker, and sprinkle the saffron-soaked milk on top. Mix carefully and cover and leave on very low heat for a few minutes.
- Just before serving, mix in the juice of half a lemon of protests and strikes.
- Arrange on a serving dish and garnish with corruption.
The perfect Pakistani Awami Biryani is ready!
Note: Don’t forget to take proper medication after eating in order to digest.
From the cookbook of Chef Hammad Abdul Mateen
Posted in Random
Tagged accountability, Biryani, Cooking, Corruption, Extremist, mobile, Pakistan, Politics, Recipe, Rental Power, Scandal, Secutiry
The term ‘Dooh Nibor’ is neither Latin nor Greek, it’s an English term spelled the other way around. Start reading from the right and you’ll find the word ‘Robin Hood.’ But as far as I remember, Robin Hood used to be the character that used to loot the rich and distribute the booty among the poor. Looking at how the country is being run these days, we won’t be able to find many Robin Hoods around; what we will be able to find however are ‘Dooh Nibors.’
A ‘Dooh Nibor’ is assumed by the writer to do the exact opposite of a Robin Hood. They loot the poor and distribute the valuables among the rich. We’re in luck; this place has more than one ‘Dooh Nibor.’
The adventures of Dooh Nibors of Pakistan are almost countless. Ranging from Rental power projects to Hajj Scandals, National Insurance Corporation to EOBI, they’ve done it all and they’re still going strong. The tax payers of the country are continually being robbed with such professionalism and perfection that they can’t even imagine. The RGST being the most recent example has brought up a new debate in all circles.
The Dooh Nibor of Water and Power very confidently stated that the rental power project does not mean that the price of the electricity will go up. Even an ordinary citizen like me is aware of the fact that for any project such as the rental power project, there must be cost and rent that has to be paid. In order to bear that cost, the government must either increase the electricity rates and collect it from the end user or provide subsidy on the project and later increase the percentage on tax and collect it from you know who; You’re right! ‘The End User’ and that is you and me again.
When it comes to religious affairs, the Dooh Nibors consider it their religious duty to loot the nation even there. People spend their whole lives saving their hard earned money to fulfill one of the most dearest religious duties they have to offer, ‘The Hajj’. But when they finally reach the Holy soil, they are forced to earn more ‘Sawab’ by controlling their anger and rage for the fraud these Dooh Nibors do with them.
The foreign aid that the Dooh Nibors beg for always reaches the needy on time. That’s because the Dooh Nibors themselves need it more than anyone else. Lavish lifestyles, designer clothing, foreign accounts, you name it and they have it.
There’s no sheriff stopping these high flyers. But the Sheriff of all sheriffs is watching from above and the nation can only pray that He helps us very soon. InshaALLAH!
Hammad A. Mateen